I Burned The Grilled Cheese

I burned the grilled cheeses.

I am parenting solo tonight while my husband is out of town for a funeral.

I used to do dinner + bedtime alone a minimum of 3 nights a week when my kids were toddlers because my husband worked in a theatre (lots of nights and weekends.)

That was the hardest time in the history of my parenting. I told myself nightly “I can’t do this. I’m not going to make it. I can’t do this alone.”

I would text my husband updates/cries for help!

“Now they are all crying!! 😫 What should I do?!”

“What time are you coming home? 😭 🙏”

And tonight, a good 10+ years later, here is what I did to survive:

1. Made a low-barrier meal that I was 99% sure everyone would eat (but one person still complained and hasn’t eaten yet 🤦‍♀️)

2. Created space for feelings. My oldest has been really struggling this week, so the first thing we did when we got home from school was going for a walk, just the 2 of us. This filled her cup (and mine!), which made her much more agreeable to helping out this evening.

3. Asked for help. I used to do this when my kids were tiny, too. I would say “Papa is working tonight, so I’m really going to need your help.” If my husband was working all weekend, I would often take the kids to my aunt’s house and we would hang out with her, just for a change of scenery - and an extra pair of hands.

4. Allowed screens. Yep. I said it. We don’t do screens during the week, but it’s Friday night and we are all tired and I am doing literally whatever it takes to get through this.

5. Focused on the outcome I DESIRED instead of focusing on what I was afraid of. I imagined everyone enjoying their grilled cheese and tomato soup. I imagined everyone being kind to one another. I imagined my youngest going to bed without a fuss. (Stay tuned on that one! 😂)

And, finally, I offered myself a ton of compassion and forgiveness.

I burned the grilled cheese.

My middlest still said, “thank you for making dinner, Mom.” 💗

Everyone ate something. No one died. All is well.

And to all those single parents out there - I salute you! I hope you are taking extra good care of yourselves because we were definitely not designed to do this parenting thing alone.